Security's Everyman

Security's Everyman

Friday, November 16, 2007

It's good to know that education and hard work have finally paid off

All of us have received many different phishing, scam, and junk emails. I get them ranging from the real SPAM ones to the Nigerian bankers widow and all sorts of them asking for an "updated" version of my resume along with my bank account number so they can deposit my pay check. Today I think I got the one that may well top the list as my all time favorite. I'm including the body of the email so you can read it.

My favorite part is the highlighted sentence. It's good to know that all my IT and security training has paid off and that they think so highly of my resume.


Dear applicant,
Having carefully investigated your resume we would like to employ you to work with our company as an administrative assistant. Monthly salary of $2000 is guaranteed for 10-15 hours of work per week. Our company was established in 2003 in Birmingham, Great Britain, and we have a number of branches in Eastern Europe and the United States. Our main trading specializations involve products sale and resale, as well as auction drop off.
Our task is to guarantee effective cooperation between sellers and managers, which ensures beneficial sales. Our operation involves maintenance of auction services, which allow anyone to sell unnecessary goods, using the services of professional sellers.
Why selling on an auction?
Using auctions is very convenient, because it allows people to sell their goods at the optimal price. We provide comprehensive support, examination of the item, and stressing attention on its positive features, as well as making professional pictures of the goods. After that, we fill in the listing form and post the information about the item in the necessary auction category. We also try to determine the best time for the start of the auction. We notify the clients about the start and end of the auction. In the course of the auction we advice buyers, receive payments and return change when necessary. Our other duty is to pack the item and deliver it to the buyer, along with some other things that are necessary for a perfect sale.
Who sells the items?
Our clients can reside anywhere. In anyplace of our world. These people are professionals with a great experience of 98% of successful deals. The majority of them are qualified to work on Ebay, Qxl, and Amazon online auctions.
Where are the items dropped off?
The items are sold on the different online auctions as Ebay US, Amazon Auctions, Big Deals, Ebay, QXL(UK Auctions), etc.
What items are usually sold?
The most popular selling categories are watches, silver and golden wares, collectibles, electronic appliances.
What are my duties as an administrative assistant?
Administrative assistants are mediators between sellers and buyers. This job is vital, in case if a person, living in {Moscow, Saint-Petersburg, Kiev}, want to sell his/her goods to Australia. Our assistant can make this operation possible. Administrative assistants are responsible for collecting and keeping all sales records in his/her region, and should also receive payments from clients. The assistant's duty is to draw up daily, weekly and monthly statements and keep record of incoming and outgoing mail to representatives of the management and sales department.
Will I be directly involved in sales? How will I find out that a deal has been made?
You do not need to sell or buy anything. Your task is to accept payments in your sales area and send all the relevant mail to the administration. If a buyer is not satisfied with the item, there is no refund. The only way is to exchange the item. In this case the seller and the buyer will settle this matter on their own. After the transaction is complete, you will be sent an e-mail with the purchase data, including the price of the item sold and its buyer's name.
What bonuses will I have as an employee of your company?
All the workers have a right for two-week paid vacations twice a year. After first three months an employee may take up his/her first vacation. We also offer {great,huge} discounts for our employees. They are listed in a catalog, which will be sent to you. Moreover, after receiving an invoice (at the end of each month) - we will pay all your taxes, reported in your tax returns.
How much should I invest to start working with you? How will I receive my pay?
No expenses initial payments are needed. All money, that may be invested by you will be returned by the company. Your monthly salary can reach up to $1,800-2,300. You will receive a 5-percent commission from each deal managed by you. A minimum salary is $2,200. If your salary does not amount in this sum - you will receive the amount of the shortfall by check or bank transfer.
For details, e-mail us at: xxxx@xxxx.com

Best Regards,
Leslie Nolan.

So I guess once I accept this I'll stop blogging. Hey! Wipe that grin off your face. I'm not gonna stop. :)

1 comment:

Security Retentive said...

FYI - this is the job description for a money mule. You'll be receiving payments via 1 payment instrument, taking a cut, and sending the money along via another payment instrument, usually western union.

Its a standard money laundering operation and the goods being sold are almost certainly stolen as well....

In case you were curious.

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